The responsibility for our children is ours. We know how to save money. What about the kids?

Once upon a time, a religious Jew was traveling through the Eastern European countryside. He came to a synagogue where the local butcher had recently fallen ill. The town butcher had no one to slaughter his poultry for him and almost closed the shop, but then he happened to come across a Jew. The visitor seemed pious and God-fearing (perhaps he wore a black hat and had a beard). The butcher asked him if he was a butcher. The visitor replied in the affirmative, and the butcher was quick to offer him a job in the slaughterhouse. The Jewish visitor asked the butcher if he would lend him some money because he had just arrived and needed to buy some things. “But you are a complete stranger,” said the butcher, “I don’t know you at all. How can I lend you money?” “You were willing to entrust me with the spiritual welfare of all the sons and daughters of your community, even though you had never seen me before, but the moment I asked you for a few rubles, suddenly you hardly knew me?”

This week's Torah tells the story of the first matchmaking in history. Abraham sends his faithful servant, Eliezer, to find a bride for his son Isaac. He gives Eliezer a document in which he bequeaths all his wealth to Isaac and makes Eliezer swear a solemn oath that he will not bring his son a Canaanite wife but someone from Abraham's family, from Ram Naharaim.

How amazing Abraham is! In one document, he transfers all his wealth to another person, to help Eliezer find the right match for his son. Is it even mentioned that Abraham demanded any guarantee from Eliezer for the wealth entrusted to him? There is not a word about Abraham insisting on any guarantees, promises, or even a clap of the hands. What did Abraham ask Eliezer to swear to him about? Not about the money, but about the woman! When he spoke of the woman who would be taken for his son, in the character of the girl that his son would take as his wife - for this Abraham demanded no less than a solemn oath.

What a huge lesson for our priorities in life. What is most important to us? What are the things that we really, really care about? When it comes to our money, everything should be behind lock and key and in steel safes. Are we as careful with our children? Are we as careful with who they hang out with, where they go, and what they do?

There was a time when Jewish parents took responsibility for their children's social well-being and perhaps for finding the right partner. Okay, times have changed and children no longer like their parents to be involved in their romantic endeavors. Even Tobias the Milkman had daughters who had difficulty marrying for love. But even if we can't "fix" things, we can still try behind the scenes to "engineer" a meeting with someone. Or at least we can be interested in what's going on.

Young people today may be shocked to think that a matchmaker will help them find a marriage partner. But there is no doubt that parents should talk to their children about marriage when they reach the appropriate age. Surely we should be teaching our children the importance of marriage before they turn 35! And wouldn’t it be a good idea for parents to sit down with their children at some point and talk to them about what they should look for in a person they want to marry?

Abraham was worried that the wrong woman would have a negative impact on his son. How much more so should we be concerned about our children, who are far less pious than Isaac was in his day. And children should also take their parents’